N.

There's a woman who works at the orchard who told me her life story and since I haven't asked her permission to relay this story, I'll refer to her as N.

One of the things that strikes anyone on first meeting N. is her personality. She smiles a lot, she has a great laugh, and she's got a great sense of humor, really sarcastic. I'm always super-happy to pick alongside N. because the time flies when she's around.

A week ago N. and I were picking and I asked her what she was thinking of doing for her next job once apple picking ended. She replied, "I don't know." Mind you she bakes at a bakery 2 days per week, takes care of a young boy with cerebral palsy 5 nights per week, picks apples 2 days per week and then...who knows?

She reminds me of "Hey Mon" from Living Color.

I suggested she get a paper delivery route, and that ripped things wide open.

Before I knew it she launched into the story of her life. She was 14 when she met her future husband. He was 15 at the time and an alcoholic. They got married and ended up having 3 kids. He continued to drink and drug and cheated on N. all the time. People would come up to her to tell her about it and she'd say, "I don't want to know." She said it made her sick to her stomach. She also mentioned that when her husband was sober he was a complete ass because all he wanted to do was get high.

He eventually left her after they'd been married for 24 year and she had an 8-, 13-, and 15-year old to take care of. She'd never had a job and didn't know what she was going to do. She took a paper route and as it turns out she made good money and was able to be home to spend time with her kids and shuttle them around to all their after school activities. Basically she'd get up at 3 in the morning deliver the papers, come home, get the kids ready for school and then once they went to school she'd go back to bed for a nap.

The husband's girlfriend lived above a bar and when N. drove the family to church on Sunday morning they'd "see Daddy's truck parked outside the bar."

Eventually N. and her husband got divorced.

She says that the experience gave her breast cancer.

After a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery she said, "I didn't want to ever be stressed out agin."

I'm not telling this story nearly as well as N. tells it but once she was done talking -- I was atop a ladder filling my bucket with apples -- and even though I've been through quite a bit myself I went quiet and was at a loss for words. Maybe I haven't been through that much after all. (Nice bit of reality check on a gorgeous fall afternoon in an apple orchard.)

I've heard a lot of people who've been sick and had cancer and other troubles and N. didn't employ any of the much-used jargon. "It was a gift." "I live for the present." "Life is precious." She said, "I didn't want to be stressed ever again."

And this has become my new mantra.

If you could see N. smile, it would probably become your mantra.