Last night as I was drowning my sorrow in alcohol and Isabelle Huppert, I had to stop and think about what I was doing. Somewhere in the midgst of vieiwing Violette I realized that instead of drowning my sorrows I should be celebrating life. As soon as I had that thought I adjusted my mindset and made myself hit pause, cook something healthful (steamed organic brocolli and cauliflower, and polish off the awesome pumpkin custrad I've become addicted to) then I returned to alcohol/DVD.

In some ways my mindshift was prompted by something Robert Thurman said at Death and Dying IV. He was talking about the way people use drugs or alcohol to knock themselves out but that, "They're afraid of the final knock out [death]." When he said that I thought of my years as an alcoholic and the years when I was using too many drugs and I thought, "Ah, so I was being a wimp." I was numbing myself to the fear of the final knockout. Who knew?

Last night it occurred to me that it's ok to be upset about Julian's death but I can't let it go on too long bc then I've lost the point, or I've lost what I perceive to be the point. The point is to respond to things in the appropriate manner and then [get back in the saddle] and live as fiercely as possible.

And now for a tiny digression about Violette. Isabelle Huppert was as awesome as always (I Heart Huckabees not withstanding). BUT. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Staphane Audran played the mother. Stephane Audran is right up there with Jeanne Moreau. I can't decide if Claude Chabrol is lazy or expects the audience to be intelligent. My understanding is that Violette was supposed to be a school girl and yet we never see her in school and so it was a little odd to only see her in cafes, hotel rooms, and the cramped apartment she shared with her parents. I wouldn't have minded one or two sceens of her juxtaposed against a schoolyard and then cavorting. All of that being said, if you like Chabrol (& I do) then you'll probably like this film. If you like Isabelle Huppert than you'll not be able to take your eyes off the screen.